Being bitchy is an art. It’s not subtle, dramatic, versatile and attention-seeking and more over, insecurity at its best. The need to validate one through vile remarks that cross all aesthetic barriers is almost appalling. But it’s an art which almost all work stations practice.
And as you saunter around, you notice that almost every branch in any office has its regulars. Those who don’t calmly sip their beer but bring out their inner insecurities on others around them with a wicked smile, everyone’s idiosyncrasies wrapped tightly in the guise of a funny joke, a warm congratulatory statement laced with nail-biting sarcasm and a cheap thrill on mail telling everyone that the holiday that was promised or the bonus that was offered, wasn’t really happening because you all haven’t met the expectations of the job. And oh, how can we forget the numerous mails on office timings that are succulent-ly layered with rudeness, exceptional big words guaranteed to confuse you and huge ego issues busted into pieces in bold all over their Times New Roman.
In my opinion, there are two kinds of bitchy babes. Ones that are almost admirable, like Miranda Priestly who knows her job inside out, who doesn’t take ‘no’ for an answer and is always out to get the better of you, unless you beat her at her game, get more perfect with each passing day and become the best there ever was. And there are the other kinds, definitely the more crass ones that are a human obligation to most companies. So much so that the company pays for a disclaimer to the other employees to reiterate the lost self-esteem. These kinds are smart, strapping, fake and extremely unpopular. Well, they could have been malaria for all I care by the way they’re avoided. Most of them are women, in high paying bossy jobs, trying to always be in control, checking up on everyone’s personal space, lonely and stay alone in a one bedroom flat in Goregaon.
It’s almost a pattern. The insecurity. They’ll be the first ones who are overjoyed that the office trip to Manali got cancelled and we all have to get our asses to work on Ganesh Chathurdi. They are the ones who squeal with delight when a promotion got canceled or a loved one of the peon just fell ill and he had to take leave. Me thinks they are overpaid because most companies also invest in a cynic to keep optimism at bay. You see, too much optimism can break companies. And the resident cynic is the first to kill happiness, joy and any remains of a holiday.
But today, the way I saw it, I left no room for smart alec comments or discussions, my defense mechanism lies in my silence and I promised myself that I will let the bitch pass under my fingers. I will make sure she realizes that I am not interested in wasting my time on the joys of ‘discipline’ or the ‘ethics’ of work. The way I look at things, I have more ethics and discipline enough not to write rude mails to co-workers. So there. I’ve decided to do my job and ignore the bitches. So it’s silence in my head, heart and mind and the only arsenal is a pair of pink Draculette pumps. Hallelujah!
Today’s fare: Christian Louboutin’s Rose Suded ‘Draculette’ Pumps from the new collection guaranteed to hit all hot spots during Halloween.
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